Chronic Stress is often more than just a heavy workload; it is frequently the emotional weight of avoiding the very tasks or conversations we fear the most. Most of us blame stress as it feels like something happening to us. Quite often, we feel stressed not because we are worrying about something, but we are actively running away from something uncomfortable. It could be anything from a tough talk with a friend to worrying about the deadlines of a big project you are working on, whatever the reason might be, the act of avoiding is what's actually wearing you out.
Difference Between Stress And Avoidance
While these two might seem similar, the root cause is entirely different; stress is a natural reaction to a challenge, like handling a tough client or having a busy day; whereas avoidance is an active effort to escape a feeling, like fear, boredom or inadequacy by putting things off. When you start avoiding a problem, it doesn't disappear. Your brain keeps it running in the “background,” which creates a constant loop of anxiety. This is often referred to as “avoidance coping,” which is a leading cause of experiencing chronic exhaustion.
This constant mental background works slowly and contributes in draining your overall energy. You might have noticed that even when you are taking rest, you are feeling completely burned out, which happens because your brain is still working hard. The worst part is what seemed as a quick way to avoid feeling bad ends up making you feel much worse than before. So, inorder to stop this cycle, you have to figure out what emotions you are running from and address them, instead of just trying to manage them or avoid just for the sake of a temporary relaxation.
Are You Practicing Avoidance Coping?
You can determine if you’re practicing avoidance coping by keenly observing your behavioural patterns. For instance, you might engage in productive procrastination, like cleaning the entire house just to stay away from that one important task. In this digital age, you might experience something known as “digital numbing,” where you spend hours scrolling through your phone specifically to escape your own thoughts.
Other signs also include “emotional withdrawal,” such as telling people you’re doing absolutely fine even when you aren't. Some even mask the problem by “task shifting,” where they fill their schedule with small, meaningless chores just to avoid facing the big stuff.
Why Hiding Your Anxiety Makes It Worse?
Avoidance feels good for a minute as it gives you a tiny hit of relief from the thing you fear the most. But that relief is indeed a “trap.” The longer it stays inside your mind, the bigger the problem grows. This creates a vicious cycle where you feel more and more “stressed” simply because you aren't taking any action towards the work which is pending. So, the best thing to do is to remember that the goal is progress, not chasing perfection. If you are feeling a bit uncomfortable, it is completely normal as you are now bravely facing the challenging situation on your own.
In these tough situations, remember to be kind on yourselves as you take these initial steps forward. Gradually, over time, your mind will naturally learn that facing challenges is far better than running away from them. Also, the each step that you take in the process shapes your character and builds your confidence to face much bigger challanges later in life.
Simple Steps To Start Facing
To stop avoiding your problems, you don't need to fix everything at one-go. Go step-by-step and only then will you be able to successfully break the cycle of avoidance. Identify that one task or that one conversation you are most afraid of, giving it a name reduces its power. If you have a big project, don't try to finish it in haste, instead, approach the project slowly but steadily, like working on it for just five minutes. Whenever you are afraid of doing something, ask yourself this one simple question, “What will be the result if I do this?” Most often, you will notice that reality is less scary than what we imagine in our mind.
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Lastly, to avoid doomscrolling, whenever you feel the urge to scroll or distract yourself, sit still for atleast sixty seconds. Just observe what you feel before you choose to act. When we learn to control ourselves, these habits cannot succumb to us anymore. Remember that you need to show patience to get the desired results, it won't happen in a fortnight. However, if you find that “avoidance” has become your default mode, consider talking to your nearest counselor regarding this, who specializes in "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy" (CBT), which is considered highly effective for breaking avoidance cycles.
